I’m on the last train
Heading anywhere but here
Painful memories steep in the bones of this place
Seeking new horizons
New people to call home
Trailing behind
The ghosts who can’t let me sleep
Dawn’s on the horizon
And I’m not there yet
Small towns too quiet
Without your voice to take up the silence
Running away
Instead of running to
Not sure when I’ll get there
But I know I’ll miss you.
poetry month
Poor substance substitute
Needing touch
Sequestered in sunlight
Hurt envelopes
Heat permeates
Pressing in
Pressing down
Cats frolic, afraid
Sounds too loud
Alone
Wind shakes green
Off white walls like a seaside resort
Sounds muffled
Incomplete
Resigned
At home
No one is waiting
Adrenaline collapse
Anxiety response stuck on fight
Words come too fast
Tripping
Trying to keep up with
Mind racing
Fighting urge
To leap the desk
Quick
Quick
Quick
Step away
Adrenaline crash
Shakes quiver through hands
Heart racing
Headache tighter and tighter
Strength floods out
Muscle weakness
Fatigue sets in
Feeling like the first time
Odd what time does to us
Discovery of sounds
New music course through veins
Melodies unknown pulse like heartbeat
Falling in love with the unknown
Drink down instrumentals unfamiliar
Best feeling
Finding beauty
All unexpected
Hard to see through the fog(possible trigger)
Controls who you talk to
Controls where you go
Just wants you safe
Doesn’t trust those people
Monitors your messages
Monitors your social media
Just wants you safe
Doesn’t trust your judgment
Treats you with silence
Treats you with derision
Just wants you safe
You make bad decisions
Controls your movements
Controls your access
Just wants you safe
Doesn’t trust you
Monitors your conversations
Monitors your media consumption
Just wants you safe
Can’t have you reaching conclusions
Treats you like furniture
Treats you like a tool that furthers goals
Just wants you safe
Can’t have you knowing your worth
Selling the fiction
Show this paradise
Blown out of proportion
This facile lie
Given shape in our minds
“I need a vacation”
Like that will help
Everything waiting on the way home
Find out the problems
The stressors
The energy vortexes
Pare them away
Until only you remain
Rather walk
Your hand in mine
Than take a thousand trips
Without you
Fight or flight: why not do both?
Center of attention
Panic floats under
Carrier waves of information
Completely in control
One on one
Get into a group in the same context
Adrenaline rush
Then inevitable crash down to headache
Not every Sir is a extrovert
Often
We focus on you completely
Because to focus on us
Is too completely hard
I give you my word
Too late to say all the things
Can’t get to you in this night hour
Can’t talk unless you check your messages
Just shouting into the ether
I can’t walk up and have a conversation
You are nineteen hours away
This talk over message
Like thin gruel
To spending time and letting it come naturally
Finding excuses to have a conversation
Finding cat videos so you can say how cute
Eyes full of hearts emoii
That used to be for me
And I pretend that you mean it for me
That I’ve given you the excuse to say how you feel
But there’s a world of difference between there and here
And I’m fading away
Lost in the silence of what we had
And the tinny reverb that we have now
Painful shadows of what was
Waiting for the dawn
Drifting cloud blots the sun
Sitting on a bench in the sun
Hard to forget half said promises
Spot a crow among pigeons
Wondering at its story
What lives unfold without us knowing
Lamenting that yours is one I’ll not share
Living inside, you forget
Eyes
Pinpoint stabbing
Inside the eyeball
Outside after too many hours indoors
Feeling the world
The press of wind
Sounds of the city moving like grasshoppers and bees
Furious to eak out one more minute of leisure
Even the birds chirp quietly
Afternoon siesta
Blinking painful in the shade and cloud covered sky
