It’s poetry month. I will be posting a poem each day for the entire month of April. Some won’t be great but I think the exercise should be fun. Though I will likely need to dip into experiential poems. My preference is for emotional cores perhaps dressed up as something else. But that many poems? Going to need to bend some standards.
Author: Pelgris
Bitter musings or Can I buy you a drink?
I don’t ply people with drinks. Mostly because my goal is not to get you too intoxicated to make rational decisions. My goal seems to be to talk to you, get to know you, then give you a piece of my heart which you will then stomp on. I have infinite pieces, so I’m not going to stop doing it. Rationally, it is profitable for me to be in emotional pain. It gives me something to write. But I’ve written joy as well. Come world, challenge my abilities, send me brightness, send me love. But keep your hope. That bitch hope has much to answer for.
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Confusion all dressed up
I don’t know what it is
Why can I not stop thinking
Why do words written or spoken make me want to press the sound to my mouth. To taste them like gourmet chocolate.
don’t even need to hear
just want to be near
warmth sits next to me
enticing.
want to hold
shivers
wish I had a coat to offer.
don’t know what this is
don’t know
confusion
don’t want to scare
don’t want to press
should but I don’t want to hold back
if the moment arrives.
don’t want to dissapoint
one sided?
screwed up before
second chance
weathered storms before but almost destroyed me.
cannot keep myself from walking along the ledge.
know the rocks are jagged
much more likely to crash down on them than fly
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Poem
Let love break what time and cold has wrought
Found full measure
And in the breaking bought
A snifter of displeasure
A draught of summer wine
A drunken rhyme written in leisure
Found full flower in memoriam
A foolish man’s yearning
To brave the hedgerows, burning
Looks for safety in her arms
Come away bleeding,
Come away
But broken in the turning
And being broke, to see
The harm, the pain
The learning
Only those broken
Can ever be…
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Dream
Woke up with my heart racing. Remembering only the phrase repeating in my head, “I’ll wait, but not forever.” stupid romantic brain, you can’t let anything just be. You need to quantify it. , and now I can’t sleep.
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Dream
I pulled into the parking lot. There were two restaurants. One where I knew I would have a good meal. But it would be empty.
And another where I would feel at home. One with warmth and a long diner counter. One filled with other lost souls with desolate hearts and interesting tales. One I’ve been to many times. Always with the temptation that the meal will be delicious, fresh and unique.
I walk in and people are sitting next to each other near the door, talking. I walk past them going down to an empty seat at the far left hand side. A part of the atmosphere, but alone, lonely. It’s the seat I usually choose. I long for touch and words but here, always, I choose a seat alone, apart.
There is a massive menu, with mouthwatering choices. Blueberry pancakes, country bacon, eggs, coffee for the smell and soda to drink. There is a bakery and pastry shop. It is a place I could be for awhile, just reading. But I never do.
I never order here, sometimes there is an empty plate that I don’t remember eating from. Sometimes I order, and wait and wait, the order never coming. Eventually, I leave. I leave the warmth and the feeling of home. I leave and feel more empty than when I arrived. Another reoccurring stop in my dreamscape.
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Poem
Come, all broke and twisted
A vine too sour for wine
Timing missed and misted
A clock that knows no time
A lock not made for turning
A key left to rust
A door bereft and yearning
But still no shape of us
What wonders fade ‘er speaking
What joys to be shared
But all that’s love is tangled
Cut through and jump
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9.5
She’s smiling and I’m laughing
She’s sleeping and I’m watching
She’s incandescent and I’m night
It’s all in my rear view
And I can’t fight the fight
Each day that passes and I’m further away from you
I’m losing those moments, those minutes, those days.
Each time I wake, I walk farther away
Each time I sleep, I remember.
It wasn’t the loss that I could not endure
It’s this litany of days and hours without you
She’s dancing and I’m clapping
She’s yelling and I’m screaming
She’s cold and I’m colder
It’s all in my rear view
And I’m another year older
Each day that passes and I’m further away from you
I’m losing those moments, those minutes, those days
Each time I wake, I walk farther away
Each time I sleep, I remember
It wasn’t the loss that I could not endure
It’s this litany of day and hours without you
She’s going and I’m watching
She’s bleeding and I’m not there
She’s dying and I’m at fault.
It’s always here with me
…
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Poem
When my partner is weak, I am strong.
When strong, I am weak.
I flow like air, like water, seemingly flighty, changeable.
Hard and unknowable, emotional and over sharing.
My strengths are weakness, weakness strength. The surface is moving, but the deep currents pull strongly.
Come, dance in my wake
Or pull even
Dance together, side by side as the world trembles
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Water
Is there anything so luxurious as water on skin? Exposed to air cold balanced against internal heat, feel the wind across it, every nerve alive, sharp and silent
Poised hung over the pit, a lovers touch enough to send me tumbling, headless, heedless ruled and wrung out by sensation
Pelgris 