Cold seeps through cloth
The city hums and growls
Too quiet for want
Too tired to reach
Grasp hands
Settle into sleep
Carried into dream
By the stark need to be near
Month: January 2020
Sipping bitter wine by the sea
Woke up with a head full of pain and a heart full of turns
Dream lives of lonely and thirst
Of hopes found in destruction
Of ghosts made younger and love made whole
Spinning plate capitalism
Faster and faster
Before the shatter
Before instability robs us of even the illusion of control
Sad goosebump shiver
Brain flairs in pain
Followed into truth
False pretenses build bridges
The memory of a memory which itself flares into pain
Last pleasure stolen
Fateful illusion won’t you hold my hand
For want of you I’m dying by inches
Itching for command
Knowing the only command I’d give won’t be followed
Leadership dilemma
And behind it all
That bone deep ache we learn to bury
And a craving for lemon cake
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Song of the Day-Funeral edition
Maybe I’m a morbid cuss but I add songs I think I’ll like to a playlist I will never hear. I add songs to a playlist to be played at my funeral.
This is the most recent:
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All tomorrow’s become yesterday’s
It’s a new year
That’s what they say
A new year
Like the past is a slate wiped clean and what happened before can stop
Like the echoes that propel me forward have somehow lost momentum and I can just breathe for a second
A new year
What is that?
I remember a new year which I rang in party till dawn slightly tipsy remembered truths still wet on my lips
The year I started coming out
That night telling friends of friends and drinking and in the morning walking to my car and feeling that lightness of burdens dropped
A new year
Moments of perfect silence and perfect crystalline being that coincide with the calendars ending
A new year
Walking into the future as if each day weren’t a lifetime
As if each minute we choose not to speak, not to act, not to be weren’t themselves lifetimes drawn out as the moment glides past
As if yesterday wasn’t the future that I’m now living as if tomorrow weren’t the next beginning
A new year
Party if you wish and dance with yourself and bedamned to whether they are watching or not
Or snuggle in and hold them tight
Kiss softly, breathe deeply, love kindly
A new year
Pelgris 