My thoughts on the Pulse murders.

I have been silent. I typically don’t engage on shootings, because typically its an unhinged person or a glory seeker and I have no desire to feed into the machine that gives them the fame they desire and sets the stage for the next unhinged asshole to think that this is the way to go.

But in this case the target was a community that is under siege. Our rights, our lives are legislated. We are discriminated against, we are beaten, we are killed. Zealots, bigots and opportunists use our love as political capital. Every stride we make forward is met with scorn, derision and hatred inspired vitriol. I’d like to point fingers and say “It’s them, they cause this. They’re to blame.” But I won’t. We know who these people are. They know who they are. And they are dying out. The generations that are coming, accept us more and more. Things are changing. Just not fast enough for all of us.

I mourn with my people. I mourn as we all do. We want it to be set right but I’m sorry. We don’t get that. We have more freedom than our predecessors. But we are not free.
We get to live better lives today but we must continue to fight for tomorrow. I know the thought that the day after such mind numbing violence could be part of those better lives is controversial. But this time it wasn’t the police beating and hurting us, as at the Stonewall riot. That is, unfortunately, progress.

Each day we stand together. Each day we press forward to that vital future. That future that we as individuals may never see but that boy or girl or transgender or gender fluid individual in that future will have the opportunity to not feel as we do now. They will be able to live their lives in the turmoil of their times without contending with instutionionalized hate. They get to be free. Because we stand up, we stand tall. We fight back without resorting to base violence wherever possible. We are the voice of reason when all others are losing their minds.

That’s all I have the strength to say.

A chair like no other

This is a chair incomparable.  It has lived through dark times. It served honorably in the great ottoman uprising of 2012 and was instrumental to the Fabulous New year’s eve party of 2014 that resulted in that riot everyone’s heard about.  In the last few days it has fallen on hard times.  A bleak depression overcame it and during a horrendous dust storm that covered the land from mountain to valley it was hurtled through the air and now sits damaged and desolate. In order to raise the funds necessary to see to it’s rehabilitation a gofundme has been created. Please give whatever you can.  Won’t someone please think of the children of future generations that will get to experience this wonder?

(this is a friends gofundme)


This isn’t even close to over

How do I keep myself from saying I want you? From saying, watch silly shows with me and grow warm and safe. From saying, hold my hand and take my breathe away. How do I not say this and still call myself honest? How to say, I miss your voice? Am I obsessed or just in love? Does it count if you don’t love me? Does it matter that I said to tell me to stop if I ever cross the line and you haven’t? I worry that I reveal too much.  Or sometimes not enough, am I safeguarding what may be or merely ducking behind excuse and cowardice? How can how I feel a step away from salvation and damnation, both in equal measure?