Pelgris

Friends who are family is all I’ve ever wanted
They slot into my soul like puzzle pieces
Energistic connection which makes everything feel
…
All right
The last 2 years have been harder than I thought would be possible
Harder especially since my family
The family I chose
Had been breaking apart
I lost two people to just life and distance and time
We are droplets running like a river
Believing us to be strong
Till one thing
And another
Drive the point home
We weren’t a river
Just drops
Held loose in a semicrystalline state
Always destined to break apart
I thought my years of isolated broken would serve as a deterrent to heartbreak
But it turns out that once you are healed enough
Those wounds are no longer haunting
Nor familiar
The carve in
Old sites long scarred
Past by in favor of fresh flesh
I’ve built this network of people I love
And as the pandemic drags on and on
I realize that the illusion of self
Is just that
Without my family of choice
I am diminished
And nothing can take the place of the pack