The Sky crys the tears I am unable to

To justify my love
having been told so often that it can’t be
that it’s too soon
I find myself in a constant war of justification where I say “I love you…”
waiting for the rejection
waiting for the no
waiting for the hesitation that says your love is scary
and I say
in that forced brittle cheer of the beaten
and all flinches “…but I love everybody.”
which is sorta true
I love all the people I love and have ever loved
but I diminish my words
scrunch down to make them fit
this too small container of what is acceptable
I’m the broken one for my love
I’m the tragic fool for my open heart
it’s always too soon
until it’s too late

Hurts don’t care about love

Soul bleeds out through gashes shredded open
Ragged wounds rended open by fingernails
Release this weighted pain
Stomach burns
Lead weights
Crying out
See!
Invisible to you
Heartbeat breaks
That stutter step
And hope
Bleeding out
Floating free

Immediate emotional reaction

knives rip my esophageal lining
Shredding stomach
Shredding heart
Breaking mind
Blood coughs up
Weakness steals over me
Pain so rough
I’m dying
But
Body won’t give up when my heart breaks
Nausea has me looking for a bucket
All light and kind drain
Please
Let me die
There’s nothing left