How awful to think it

If I could save her, of course I would, of course. It’s easy to say, discounting all the years past that point. Discounting all the changes I made to be a better person.

Of course, I’d go, I’d be there and that would make the difference.
If I could save her I would.
If I could make a different choice
I would
And accept that it means that the man I am now would be annihilated.
All of those experiences that turned me, minute by minute would be destroyed as well.

Of course, I’d save her. Of course.
Knowing how it happened, knowing it all.
Of course, I’d save her. Of course.

And accept that saving her, means dying in her stead. I’d still be breathing but the man I am now would never be. The love I’ve experienced, the people I’ve met, the family I’ve connected with, the goddess of my heart. It all gets snuffed out, turned on the wheel of a choice.

Of course I’d save her
Of course

The Blade’s Remorse

Hurts flash frozen
Chemical assistance interceding
The blade slips in
All pains receding
Still bleeding but unfeeling
A smile plastered on my face

Blood keeps flowing
And I unknowing
It’s all just building
Walls are breaking
But I’m still smiling
Though the grimace sets in

The ice is melting
And depths are beckoning
My paths are ending
Smile cracking and
Falling away