She rips me up

She rips me up
Just a text out of the blue
And she puts my whole world on tilt
Because she could have me or break me with a word
My could have been who never was
Who I fell so hard for
I left a cartoon like impression on the desert floor
A man shaped hole
I fell like a shooting star
And burrowed to earth
Flame kept alive in flickers beneath the surface
I gave up
Because I had to
Because sanity demanded it
But 3 words in a text
And no not those three words
And I’m right back at the beginning
She has me
But it fades
That’s almost harder than without
Almost harder than with
What could isn’t
What might be
Depends on her
And it won’t happen