In the gloom of your smile
Finding shelter in its shade
Fading steps lead to dancing
While acting grave makes one merry
Behind masks of jade and saffron
Cold spices over warm lips
Shelter in my heart
Or be held by my arms
say yes
And though my face will seem impassive
You will know the secret truth of kindness
Of hot blood
Of defense and shelter
Step with me
I can wait
Month: May 2019
Riven Earth 1.2
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Riven Earth 1.1
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Nightmares are also dreams Part 26
Sara emerges from her closet carrying a black garment bag. She is trying to look dignified while Tara dances around her. Tara slipping in and licking a shoulder or arm before being swatted away. It’s clear that Tara is loving her game of Lick the Sara but it’s time to get this show on the road.
“Tara, it’s time to get into your outfit.”
I watch the surprise and relief flood into Sara. I can almost hear her thinking that at least with clothes on she might explain her lifestyle to her parents.
“The body artist is waiting for you in your room. They will be painting you up to look just like a fox.”
Sara’s eyes whip to mine, shock and the smallest bit of a smile washes over her face, and she says, “You…hmmf.” She flounces into the bathroom to get changed.
It’s funny. I’ve seen her cow Fortune 500 CEO’s. I’ve seen her lose a large fortune of someone else’s money and gain it back in the same day. I’ve seen her shoot a full magazine and hit her target every time. She is amazing and every time I think I’ve seen it all, there is a surprise. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her flounce before.
The alarm on my phone starts beeping. It is time for her makeup.
I knock on the door to the bathroom.
“Do you need help with anything,” I ask through the door.
“I’ve got it. Five more minutes,” she replies back.
“The alarm says now. How will you be paying for these 5 minutes?”
“How about a night of PDA(public display of affection) at the next office party,” she replies all too readily.
“That’s fine. As long as it’s your office.”
At my office we could fuck on the centerpiece and my people would just take bets on who cums first. Or take it as cue to start an orgy. When your life is regularly on the line, you generally are a bit libertine. Or, perhaps, it’s just in my recruiting methods. Maybe a bit of both.
There is a few minutes of silence and the door opens. She is wearing a black bustier with red panels. Her skirt is floor length, slit to reveal her upper thigh which is partially obscured by the holster of her very functional 10mm Glock. She looks fierce and fiery. The look only slightly marred by her bed head hair.
“You can stop ogling me. And help me lace up the bustier. I couldn’t reach the laces.”
I snap out of my surprise and lace up the back. Pulling them a little tighter than she might prefer just to remind her that she should have asked and not commanded.
As soon as I finish she strides forward, casting her voice back, “Of course my office party. Yours would just start an orgy and it takes forever to get the food out of…everything.”
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Give me an enemy, someone to fight, but don’t give me this emptiness
Every word read cuts like a knife through flesh made tender by the pounding of fists
Glances through doorways during meetings sends the mind tailspinning through all the possibilities of what they are saying about me
And I know that these words weren’t written about me…probably
And I know that those glances are an attempt at distraction during a boring meeting…most likely
But feeling isn’t logic and pain doesn’t care why
It Wraps its chains and drags one down making each step harder
Until sleep is both the enemy and the only retreat
Until longing for arms to hold me gives me pause and exhaustion forces its way in and into cold plunges of water which mask the symptoms
“You’re looking better…”
For now, for now but sleep is the liar
And too much breaks the will as easily as too little
And blood on the water has the sharks circling
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This may be hubris or futile
I don’t know if this applies to anyone reading this
Or if I even have the right
But I’m in a position to say it so it’s my responsibility
If he or she(they, etc) harms you, you have my permission and my hope that you leave.
That you go and find someplace safe. That you seek out what help is available and you go.
I know it’s not my place or even if it will do any good but know that you are better than the person inflicting you with trauma and you, in no way, deserve whatever harm is occurring.
You deserve a life free from fear, free from harm.
No one has the right to harm you. No one has the right to physical or mentally torture you.
If you are waiting for someone to say, leave. To be given instruction to go. Then this is it. Go. Leave and never go back.
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The press of blade, knows the delicious taste of the cut
One touch is never enough
Whether of the mind or flesh
You’ll dwell in me forever
And forever I’ll crave in quiet moments
In solace and solitude
For your sighs and taste and screams
sweet memories of gentle caress
Transform into deep desire and unsated float
Mark with teeth
And scream
Mine
Mine
Mine
But I know
It’s not true
And instead I write
Quivering
Shivering
With unquenchable need
You kindled a spark in heart and mind
Now desire burns in bonfire blaze
Slow eyes and wicked smile
Say yes, that we may begin
Pelgris 