Eyes burn, hand goes numb, nothing left but to stand

Sleep
It’s all I have
And still I avoid it
I feel the pain of waking
And my heart hurting
Hours pass until exhaustion
Until it’s too late
The world is spinning
Obligations
The day starts
They don’t see
Don’t know
They look at me
Acting like they care
Can’t believe them
So easy to lie
So easy to see

The thing is
I give chances out of the gate
I trust until trust is broken
But broken once
It’s never repaired

Reforged links are never as strong
But here I am putting off what might have saved me
Instead walk in
Tired
Without safety
Wondering if I can save me

But I never have before
Instead lost in my own way
Stumbling for hearts too distant to see me
We run through the darkness
Hoping for light
But when it comes we find our way blind
Making the mistake that sends us back to its lack

And sleep
Too little
Too late

They say you have to save yourself
But if I could I would have
I’m just a whispered memory
Lost in false reverie
Fueled by a pain too ephemeral to be embraced

Last mistakes
Mounting higher until we break
Funny how it’s all about the money
Spent to survive, to get through the days
Until we break and what’s left?

To walk away
To die starving
Or embrace the eternal dark
The last home
When all other sanctuary is lost

One thought on “Eyes burn, hand goes numb, nothing left but to stand

  1. LeeSoyer May 1, 2019 / 4:04 pm

    Everything is not lost
    until you think it is
    Bigger is the cost
    to not fight back
    even when exhaust.

    On how others are feeling
    you must not focus
    cure first your own bleeding
    focus instead in the direction
    your decisions are leading.

    Decide well my friend
    have a little win every day
    your reality you will bend
    towards more joy, success
    toward a happy end.

    Like

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