Pelgris

Get used to the pain of being near you
Being so close and unable to grasp you close
This weight
Heartbeat clenched
Unnoticed until a touch sparks release
Light and silent
About what this feeling means
Lump in throat
Fear of what you’ll say
So many times before
Saying it
That spasm
The rictis smile
The I don’t think of you that way
The slow fade
But feelings denied break out
Break down in unexpected ways
It’s coming
And soon
I’ll find my voice
And speak
And wait
Heart heavy
Waiting for the event horizon