What sleep is

I sleep
Facing east
Knees slightly bent
On my left side
Pillow underneath left arm
Neck on top of another pillow
Cradling the crook

I sleep
Right arm behind me
Perched atop more pillows
Left arm outstretched
Pointing towards you

I sleep
Wearing normal clothes
In case of fire
Or emergency
I won’t be caught unawares
No shoes
No socks my concession to comfort
Though I am comfortable

I sleep
Single light bulb on
Illuminating my bedroom
Not out of fear
But because it’s easier to act if you can see them coming
While we’re talking sight
I wear my glasses to sleep
Only taking them off when I shower

I sleep
Facing the single entry to my room
No windows
Door locked
Blade never far from me
But concealed
Live a certain way for long enough and some things never leave you

I sleep
Breathing in and out
Telling myself that tomorrow doesn’t matter
Only now and now is sleep time
You can see how well that’s working
Since I’m writing this

I sleep
Alone
Longing to hold her in my arms
Snuggled up under the blanket she gave me
Because this is as close as possible
The air conditioner is on because
Here it’s hot and I can’t bring myself to put it away yet

I sleep

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