All that is beautiful is forgery
A false flag waved to rouse
One to false actions
No truth escapes our lips
No hope beats in hearts
All dust and smoke rising from
Ruin
poetry
Vague wandering
Drunk on memes
Not quite living
Hopes bounce as pinball
around my brain
Stupid brain
Thinking that there is hope
Finding instead
Dirt filled holes of empty
Drug into the muck
Wanting to kiss you
Wanting some way forward
Brain stuck in loving you
Can’t downshift
Forward is all I’ve got
Past is dead chrysanthemums
And empty chrysalis
Life drives forward
Leaving hearts behind
In there uncertainty
Left to make choices that have moved
But still stuck
Some piece of me
Waiting on a maybe
Stuck in this loop
Sadness and recrimination
Bitter pills to swallow
Lies and half truths
Bound by oaths
Spoken and promised
But only I remember
And you
Wait in silence for words I am forbidden to speak
Shackled by an honor
Few understand
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Unbreakable cycles(meant to be sung)
I woke up to your love
But I know, your love is false
I woke up to your kiss
But I know, you’ll be gone in the morn
I woke up in your arms
But I know, you’ll hold me no more
I woke up all alone
And I knew
You’d be laughing
In the dawn
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Dreams can be desires
Hot pressure slides
Pain wars
Pleasures build
Need tears loose
Again again again
More
Throbbing pain
Heat cools
Another
Another
Another
Neverending
No release
Just this painful pleasure
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Yawning
Organs ache
Bones pop
Tightness
Pain subsumed by
Catalog
Mind overruling indicators
Fading to the background
I am awake
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Where is the raven
Phonetic structures
Slip, slip, slip
Knives embedding into flesh
Hearts blood flows thick
Death by slow inches
In the shade of what was
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Questions strike deep
I had a whole thing
A thing about truth and honor
But it occurs that
What others see as
Honor and truth are not what
I see
In my heart, as long as I’m honest, I’m truthful
In my heart
as long as I keep my word,
As long as I protect my people,
As long as I adhere to my rules,
I am honorable
There is no outside structure that imposes order on my heart
Only my self
Maybe that’s not what you thought
But it is what I am
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Standing
not looking to change the world
Just changing myself is enough of a challenge
Just paying for my transgressions is enough
Just looking for a different place to be happy
Just waking up
Just falling in love
Just breaking
Not looking to change the world
Just looking to be
Just looking to sing
Just looking to write
Just want those minutes between
Just dreaming strange dreams
Just supporting my people
Not looking to change the world
But I’m not looking to bow to it either
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Liminal glow
Clicks echo to empty
Haunting melodies drift close
Disappearing too soon
Rumbles in the distance
Here
In the quiet
I wait for you
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A scream without voice
Drift and burn
Slashed wrists
Fetid blood
Spills as rain
Corruption seeps into bone
Minds rot
No chance to find the way
Home
Last shudders
Breathe Choked out
Quiet wind blows
Waiting
…..
Waiting
Pelgris 