Pelgris

Drunk on memes
Not quite living
Hopes bounce as pinball
around my brain

Stupid brain
Thinking that there is hope
Finding instead
Dirt filled holes of empty

Drug into the muck
Wanting to kiss you
Wanting some way forward
Brain stuck in loving you

Can’t downshift
Forward is all I’ve got
Past is dead chrysanthemums
And empty chrysalis

Life drives forward
Leaving hearts behind
In there uncertainty
Left to make choices that have moved

But still stuck
Some piece of me
Waiting on a maybe
Stuck in this loop

Sadness and recrimination
Bitter pills to swallow
Lies and half truths
Bound by oaths

Spoken and promised
But only I remember
And you
Wait in silence for words I am forbidden to speak

Shackled by an honor
Few understand