When memories thought inviolate slip away beyond reach

Feeling broken for no particular reason
No glaring signal saying this is the red flag
This is where the healing will begin
Instead just hurting
Just a bag full of empty
Spilling out over symptoms
The endless seeking of distractions
Anything to not think except in those moments between cease and sleep
Where all that was held away comes crashing down through paper walls which held it at bay
Thin constructs fooling myself that this is a normal life and these are normal activities
Fundamentally seeking but burned out from the search
Looking for a reprieve but places aren’t safety
Just defensible rooms
People have ever been my succor
Holding and taking care of those I love heals me
Keeps me going to the point where you say you want to see my darkness
But become Mired in light
Because the darkness retreats when my love is allowed expression
Wrong to say it’s gone but it retreats to lurk and wait in ambush
Too tired to even think about suicide
Instead yearning for sex, something passive, to be done to me while I curl and cry
Anything just to feel more than empty
I’ve been seconds from the ledge, one steps from jumping and still this all consumption of emotions is worse
This endless expanse of nothing
Stretched borders making for the treeline
Drowning in the blood of mourning
Lost without her Yes or Sir
Masters have demons too
Ours just seem like controlled because they are control
Perfection is a lost art
Artists lost in the false storms of embrace
A yes away from hell or salvation
One more chance
One more piece broken
One more piece of jagged glass
Still capable of cutting me free

Lists in poet voice are more fun

​44 Odd Things You Don’t Know About Me

Answered in Poet Voice
1. Do you like blue cheese? spice wind melting in bones and memory

2. Have you ever smoked? char fails on the passage

3. Do you own a gun? a blade is a truer weapon

4. What is your favorite flavor? that which lies betwixt, in hushed breath and moan

5. Do you get nervous before Doctor visits? Stout is the heart that beats

6. What do you think of hot dogs? the mystery lays in within

7. Favorite Movie? whichever calls to my heart in the waning moonlight

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? the bean made thick by cream, made sweet by flowing darkness

9. Do you do push ups? nought as exercise though  surely in other pursuits

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? by the elder sign I am called, and the challenge is met

11. Favorite hobby? the mind plays in the shade of the hedgerows

12. Do you have A.D.D.? Calm waters reflect the sky

13. What’s the one thing you dislike about yourself? my heart blooms too often under an unforgiving sky

14. What is your middle name? a legacy from the river that birthed me

15. Name three thoughts at this time? a past fraught with pain, words that burn and break, the shifting sands of the changeable future

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? rain as it drops from the winter sky, whiskey poetry itself, the fermentation of the the darkest orbs

17. Current worry? hearts broken and renewed

18. Current annoyance right now? labors unappreciated

19. Favorite place to be? in dream, where what was may be again

20. How do you ring in the new year? Alone, the days passing, together in revelry

21. Where would you like to go? into the arms of those that love me by choice rather than blood

22. Name three people who will complete this. Those who will it, those who fear it, and those who wish to be seen

23. Do you own slippers? naught but skin shods my feet in comfort

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? nights blissful song

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? though cool, enfold me in soft and warm of simple cotton

26. Can you whistle? if a dog could whistle, my tune in this regard would still not carry

27. What are your favorite colors? as the day falters and dies, the colors of the night dance and sway, a crimson river, drying to beauties rest

28. Would you be a pirate? am I not already, to take and speak as one voice, one vote?

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? As one descending though darkness is on fire

30. Favorite girls name? Morgan

31. Favorite boys name? Kvothe

32. What’s in your pocket right now? hope and a blade

33. Last thing that made you laugh? I cannot recall

34. Best toy as a child? curiosity and freedom to move

35. Worst injury you ever had? a step, a twist, a break, then steps, then break

36. Where would you love to live? in the hearts of my lovers, in their arms

37. How many TV’s do you have? a single window in other worlds

38. Who is your loudest friend? Scott of the laughing words and the sad eyes

39. How many dogs do you have? I suffer from a paucity of canines though I share space with carnivores of the feline persuasion

40. Does someone trust you? All whom I count as friends may trust me, unto death

41. What book are you reading at the moment? Deadly Sting by Jennifer Estep

42. What’s your favorite candy? soft milk chocolate encasing in geometric glory the honey nougat of a far off land

43. What’s your favorite sports teams? for myself, I can speak but none

44. Favorite month? When summer slips into memory and winter strides merry and dark, in masked celebration between this aetheric and the next