What lays within

Some like to think that there is a demon inside. A darkness that desires wicked things. That wants things. Craves things.
But, oh, I know the truth. It is nothing so easy. So…simple. No demon would want the things I desire sometimes. That outer edge of behavior beyond the outposts of commonly accepted and slipping into the beautiful nightmares of the darkest recesses of my too human, too jaded mind. The things I keep hidden. The scenes that I play out only in the playground of my mind. Because to realize them would take a partner who wanted that darkness. Who was unafraid of both the desires and the dark romance of my heart. Of rose pedals and paddles. Hoods and control. My heart and mind is a labyrinth of doors. What is seen is only what I have judged is acceptable and I will live with that half loaf or crumbs. Rather than break and take all without permission. I know the depths of the monster within. But I have no illusions that it is a demon. No. It is merely my self. Without leash. Without doors. Without mercy. Only tempered by control. And love.

A soft life

I forget sometimes. I live in my little corporate world. In my little comfortable life. I forget that there are places not too far from me that are closer to the margins. That there are people living closer to the edge. That really. This corporate bullshit is meaningless.

I know better. There is a edge to the world. And I once danced on it. Not because I had to. But because I wanted to. I traded that life. I’d do it again. I’d trade the life I have for the right reasons.

But I need to remember. There are dark places in the world. I’ve seen a few. Caused a few.

This soft life. It’s just not that important. A means to an end.

I’d trade it in a heartbeat for one more chance.

But that old me, he’s gone too. Who I am now will have to be enough.

Refuge for the darkness

If I could be your monster
I’d dance you to the river
that we may both drown
or cadence test and timing bound
slip skin and become one
bound round and round
let devour your mind
slip into dark places
touch the deepest, most lurid desires
I guarantee, I won’t be shocked
keep your course by my side
be us monsters together
dance the moonlight
in blood and abandon