What lays within

Some like to think that there is a demon inside. A darkness that desires wicked things. That wants things. Craves things.
But, oh, I know the truth. It is nothing so easy. So…simple. No demon would want the things I desire sometimes. That outer edge of behavior beyond the outposts of commonly accepted and slipping into the beautiful nightmares of the darkest recesses of my too human, too jaded mind. The things I keep hidden. The scenes that I play out only in the playground of my mind. Because to realize them would take a partner who wanted that darkness. Who was unafraid of both the desires and the dark romance of my heart. Of rose pedals and paddles. Hoods and control. My heart and mind is a labyrinth of doors. What is seen is only what I have judged is acceptable and I will live with that half loaf or crumbs. Rather than break and take all without permission. I know the depths of the monster within. But I have no illusions that it is a demon. No. It is merely my self. Without leash. Without doors. Without mercy. Only tempered by control. And love.

Deep structure in organic thought

If one has a base set of rules, basic operating parameters, from which to live by. Then one has a mental base of operations from which to assail reality. This allows one the mental framework to adapt and change as time passes and circumstances twist. While retaining a core true self that changes as interpretation of the basic rule structure themselves undergo changes.

Changes forced by the ever flowing river of time and the constant desire to be the epitimouse version of the self. To be a person worthy of your stated goals. This adaptability must be tempered with logic and compassion as the ever evolving self can be seen by others as a betrayal of the basis the relationship was founded on.

While working on the inner self it is important to work on one’s relationships to others else one will find oneself alone. Which, while conducive on some levels to seeking, is ultimately dangerous to overall psyche of the human animal. It should further be noted that at some point the influence of others, of outside perspectives, is a necessary component of growth. Without such, your evolution will be halted by a starvation of input.
Emotionally, a opinion from a friend will be given more weight than one of a stranger or acquaintance. If only because of that emotional connection. Therefore these connections become important in later growth stages.

It is easy to become comfortable, to stop growing, stop learning, stop changing. Thus it is important to make the decision early that these changes are necessary for self improvement and as such must be allowed to be explored. One need not incorporate every avenue of realization into one’s core but one should be aware of the option and parameters of doing so.