These phrases flit across the surface
Just beyond my grasp
They burrow deep
They sup at the well
Of muse and madness
Spring forth putrid fruit
Rotting and roiling
Spring forth ambrosia
Perfect and shining
The true of inspiration
Digs it’s roots
Deep
Too late
Too early
Too persistent
Too nonchalant
Too honest
Too mysterious
Too smart
Too ignorant
Too slow
Too fast
Too sexual
Too frigid
Too weird
But at least not too normal
This river walks beside me
And I
In its stead
Swim
The birds
stare in silence
As I take up voice
to sing
The winds of coldest winter
Cease howling
In my breast
The storm wakes
Bound….
And bound….
And bound
The words come quietly now
As sleep eludes the dreamer
Anxiety weaves about
Circles
Wheels
Revealing weakness
Weakness I’d rather you not deal with
You’ve seen it before
But this feels different
Or I’m jumping at shadows
Is it insight or fear
I don’t know which
All I know is everything stops spinning
When you say Sir
Others have said it
And it was nice
But they are playing
You say it differently
And that makes all the difference
Realization comes in waves
Depositing as grains of sand
Accumulating
until truth crashes down
And nothing is as it was
I am blood
And death
And pain
I am night
And ink
And shadow
I am shattered
And tired
And ending
Time turns the wheel
There is no purpose
Just another day
Break
I don’t know what god or entity that I pissed off but if it could kindly fuck off, that would be great
So this side of me
That few get to see
Has unlocked so quickly
However did you get the key?
For those that don’t know
What I don’t often show
So serious, so low
There’s a side to me that’s silly
Delightfully
A bit goofy, yes really
I dislike how we got here
Whatever here turns out to be
All I know is that
I’m breathing for the first time in years
Woken for the the first time
Smiling
Working with you
I don’t know what will happen
But now
Now is enough for now
There are things in me
Monsters
Darkness
Whispering desires convered
in blood and pain
Desires that I indulge in
When everyone agrees
But in the deepest pit of me
I see a piece that wants to take without permission
Wants to break and harm
And that I will not allow
So I know that darkness
That pitch black monster
Sitting in the deepest chasm of me
Chained up
So I cannot abide this in others
Monsters should not be allowed to have free rein
I should know
I’m one of them
And though now all will flee
Truth is all I have
Doing what is necessary
Even if the price paid
Destroys me
Pelgris 