Poems

9.5

PelgrisLeave a comment

She’s smiling and I’m laughing
She’s sleeping and I’m watching
She’s incandescent and I’m night

It’s all in my rear view
And I can’t fight the fight

Each day that passes and I’m further away from you
I’m losing those moments, those minutes, those days.
Each time I wake, I walk farther away
Each time I sleep, I remember.

It wasn’t the loss that I could not endure
It’s this litany of days and hours without you

She’s dancing and I’m clapping
She’s yelling and I’m screaming
She’s cold and I’m colder

It’s all in my rear view
And I’m another year older

Each day that passes and I’m further away from you
I’m losing those moments, those minutes, those days
Each time I wake, I walk farther away
Each time I sleep, I remember

It wasn’t the loss that I could not endure
It’s this litany of day and hours without you

She’s going and I’m watching
She’s bleeding and I’m not there
She’s dying and I’m at fault.

It’s always here with me
…

 

Poem

PelgrisLeave a comment

When my partner is weak, I am strong.
When strong, I am weak.
I flow like air, like water, seemingly flighty, changeable.
Hard and unknowable, emotional and over sharing.
My strengths are weakness, weakness strength. The surface is moving, but the deep currents pull strongly.
Come, dance in my wake
Or pull even
Dance together, side by side as the world trembles

Poetry

PelgrisLeave a comment

A turn
A burn
A fall, a dance, a place
A person, awareness
Epiphany
Quiescence
A tension
A tightening
Release
Abandon
Abandoned
A turn
A burn
A fall

tears at work

PelgrisLeave a comment

I’m tentative these days.

Tentative from a lifetime of longing, from a point to point of hopes lost and in the losing I am diminished.

In the moments where life is lived I find the emptiness of long days stretching out into spaces I wish were as empty as they feel. Spaced equidistant from fulfillment and beauty I can see it on the horizon, stretching my fingers out to embrace it to hold onto its possibilities, to break free from this prison.

I reach out my hand hoping to be pulled up. Your hand rests gently on my head and in the touch hope blooms and I dare see future and joy, right up… until it pushes me back down. Freed from touch for so long that even that minute, that rebuke is desirable.

What history can I share but one of days sitting on the windowsill, looking from my perch into the vast known, alone, head resting on my knee, a sad song hushed over the patter of raindrops on stone.

seven words

PelgrisLeave a comment

You are beautiful beyond measure or sanity

You are strength when I am broken

My heart is yours until suns dying

Your mind is the elegance of steel

Your smile is both shy and lovely.

Poem

PelgrisLeave a comment

Each crystalline moment
Held glinting in the light of morning
Gives forth it’s truth
That hope is no substitute for real
The casual comradery of couples
Shines a glaring spotlight
Illuminating the shadowed lines of self delusion
Too many words, too little joy, far too soon

Poem

PelgrisLeave a comment

Sleep is the victim
And I the priest
The barren tree reaches limbs to the sky
Confusing the sun
The world below cast in shadow
Slipping inward
Gasping for air
The maelstrom calms
In the frigid
Between
Breathe cracking
Screams littering the ground
Caught twixt tongue and ear

PelgrisLeave a comment

I breathe you in, faint floral over something else that quickens my heart,
lips trailing your neck, breathe hot and pooling in the curve between neck and shoulder; fingers lightly brushing skin

…..

dreams persist though possibilities end

What I want from a romantic relationship

PelgrisLeave a comment

I want all of you
Not just your body
All of you
Your mind, so delicious and a little(or alot) twisted
Your humor, your laughter
Your good times
Your bad
A drink shared in sorrow
And one raised in joy
I want that look in your eyes that says I am yours
I want your blush when I’ve said something wicked
Your anger when I’ve taken it too far
Your hobbies I learn to tolerate and some that I love
Your quirks that seemed cute in the beginning and drive me mad now
I want you to be confident, in me, if nothing else
I want you to be home when you’re ready
And for me to be that home
I want all that you are
And I want you to want all that I am

Spoken word

PelgrisLeave a comment

I shall guard your heart if you will guard mine
Lovers moving to rhythm yet heard
The Symphony tunes
amid clatters and whispers

I shall guard your heart if you will guard mine
The silence is fallen
The hush has begun
The soft roll of drums
Whispering

I shall guard your heart if you will guard mine
The first sound of strings
Then, the wind sings
Underneath the drums still roll
Whispering

I shall guard your heart if you will guard mine
The brass sings clear, it’s clarion call
Each calling to each

The drums still roll
Still roll
Still roll
Then…
…
.. Silence