Riverbed dries
Summers promise yields
Small trickles wending through deep roots and dying youth
Smiles all around
Waiting on the banks
Remembering the glacial torrent
Crisp mornings
Gray light gives way to sun cresting mountains
Pouring light
Into the pocketed dark
Kiss me there
In the grey
Between
Standing between getting what you want
And having what you need
Just Oscillating here
Stuck at the crossroads
Waiting for word that
I’m not alone
Hoping I will meet you
Touch my hand
Maybe we’ll go the distance
Maybe we’re just waystations to something better
Whatever the case
It all begins
Now
Hey idiot
What do you hope to gain by being an asshole
What possible benefit
Maybe you are looking to get beat up
Or fired
Maybe you are just a product of a soft life
You can’t conceive of someone doing anything about your insults
Now your manager gets a complaint
In my youth
We would have danced in blood and darkness
You are a fool
Not long for this life
Track me down across phone
Across email
Taken aback
Yup, I make the decision
Immediate obsequious
Shaking head
Lol
Early morning sunset casts light through water spattered glass
Diffuse light falls on skin
On hair turned honey in the dawn of the day
Sleep drifts through our window
Late nights and later meals
The rise and fall
Watching you breath feels voyeuristic
Watching as each breathe ends in a small snore
Cute kitten snores that you never believe happens
Like cats curled in the rising heat of the day
I sleep
Touching you
Making sure
you
are real
Ethereal tones steal into my heart
Ritual demands
Feather kisses along spine
Choices made and remade
Cold seeps in
Memories cement
Cherished forever
Your lips on mine
Looking back, I wonder
I wonder why I allowed situations where I was in so much pain
I wonder at feeling those highs when the lows lasted for so much longer
I wonder why do I want someone to eat with me when I so much enjoy sitting alone at the restaurant, eating at my slow pace, reading my book
Experiences that aren’t made better
I only dance in public when I’m not with someone I know
I’m only free from all expectations on my own
But still, I miss having someone.
To love. To kiss. To hold.
I miss sleeping next to someone.
Not all the time, but sometimes.
I miss that moment when you look at each other and everything is said and nothing is spoken
Numbers cascade like pebbles
Becoming boulders
Making one bolder
Standing taller
Waiting for the final
WHUMP
Steps burn as ice
Chill wind creeping through skin
Grins at the moon
Midnight dancing
Grime soaked sweat
Small prickles cascade to torrent
Of needles scraping flesh
Exploding
Pain
Then the world is remade anew
Folly of friendship
Trading a future for hardship
Listening to plans
Holding my tongue
Engaging in the behavior that breaks
Anxiety and setbacks
Suckered by compassion
Pelgris 