Churn and boil

They say that no one truly loves you until they see every dark shadow inside of you and still chooses to stay

But what if those shadows are not caused by murk and pain but instead cast by bright lights shining into deep holes. What if when you gaze in into the shadows and the shades feel love they burst forth in incandescence burning away their shrouds and the darkness promised from lips bound to truthfulness instead drip light

Do you feel betrayed by their love and how dare they show this deep painful darkness which is so easy to love but then switch and become joy and light. In foolishness and hopeful acts they keep moving forward, they don’t see the change so drunk on this absence of pain. They keep going and not knowing break what they sought to forge.

And Dwindling is requested, affronted by this light and their words but though some time has passed they never forgot their oath to say what is in their heart and they cannot help that what is there is love. But they do love and they do care and they say, quietly, ok. We’ll talk only about the weather and the small things with nary a serious discussion about anything. And the silence reigns and their lights turn to blood but they remember the light and they break and break and break

Until you can stand it no longer and a short sharp slap across their face wakes them from their ocean of blood and they apologize and turn their daggers inward to spare you their pain because they remember that light they felt in the failing embrace of winter

But still, they remember their oath to always speak what was in their heart and their second oath, to always be silent in those places where they once were free

And torn apart by their own words, by the words that have always been the catalyst for destruction. No one really wants the truth, their truth. Not forever. No one expects them to remember the oaths they spoke in exactness. The things that they follow. Maybe it’s not human to do so.

Maybe they should have or should now speak directly, but it is forbidden and until it’s rescinded
Silence
And these words slipped past with bare context
Are all they have
We are broken until we are whole. Darkness until we are light
And the turning, we never expect
But the fall
The fall we know all too well

2 thoughts on “Churn and boil

  1. naughtynora June 12, 2018 / 6:23 am

    This is beautiful, Pelgris…it speaks to me on so many levels right now. Thank you for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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