I have two scenarios in mind when I am with someone. There is the ideal. Which is that we are together and spend our lives in the band between content and happy. We express our love out loud and without reservation. We are words and deeds and compromise. I have no illusions that we won’t fight. But I hope we can get through the fights with grace. And find peace and passion in each other. I want the thousand little things that make up a life.
And the second scenario? I hope that we are honest with each other. That we both get what we need, for now. Even if we are not going to be in each other’s lives forever, I hope that we make each other’s lives better while we are. And when it ends I hope we part as friends and not enemies. There is enough pain in endings without adding bitterness and regret.
I think those are good options to strive for.
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I know the first and know it can be done. That’s really the good and bad. If you think something isn’t possible then you can stop striving for it. The second we’ve made work a couple of times. It takes distance and coming back to a relationship after the pains fade but it can work out. I generally want the best for my exes even if that best isn’t me. I think that makes me seem naive or really nice. A perception I have a problem with, but I have a hard time taking compliments too so it’s probably related.
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It makes you a good person.
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I’ve never really seen myself as such. Not in any traditional fashion anyway.
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I think we all see ourselves differently than others.
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