The fog clears as the days pass. As I exam my actions. When I am in the beginning throes of new relationship passion, I can be a lot to take. I’m passionate and attentive. But also nuts and needy. If we at least talk on a daily basis for about half an hour, I’m good. I can keep myself in the bounds of sanity. But if not, I can become overbearing in my need to be heard. To be seen in the relationship.
The people I’m attracted to tend to value my intense passion but there is another side to that coin. And that other side is possessive and a little nuts. Of course, if we talk, I lose that edge of crazy. Maybe that is what is most disconcerting, the lack of consistency. I’m at fault for letting the train get away from me. In the silence, I fill the void with my every addled thought until the next communication and I calm for a time.
Which is why I place such heavy emphasis on communication. I know I can get nuts. I want to minimize that. In some cases that’s not possible, due to circumstances, so a lot of understanding please. I’m not really that round the bend, as anyone who actually knows me can attest to. And when it is possible, do me the courtesy and yourself a favor and talk to me on the regular.