3 AM thoughts

I wonder what it is like to receive my romantic attention. Is it smothering to be thought of in focus? By which I mean as a primary thought, like writing or learning. To know that I think about them when I wake up, when I sleep, and just during the day. To read my poetry that they inspire, to receive compliments and pet names, to hear the thousands of thoughts that slam into my brain.

To deal with the way my brain works, confident but always willing to read a situation as negative. Needing to be reassured of your interest until I’m completely confident in it. Needing to hear back as soon as possible. Needing to know why you aren’t available or will be gone for whatever ongoing conversation we are having.

Dealing with my rules. Dealing with my sexual appetite. With my stories about what I desire to do with and to you, then your realization that they weren’t so much stories as points of intention.

Maybe it’s all too much and the relationship just dies under the weight of communication. I try to restrain my heart, but I often fail. I try to be easy and chill but it’s not my nature. Serious and intense is my nature, though I can be silly if I feel safe. I don’t know. I guess that’s why this is bothering me at three in the morning.

20 thoughts on “3 AM thoughts

  1. Pirate Patty Reviews's avatar piratepatty June 6, 2016 / 8:11 am

    I had one of those up at 3 a.m.the night before last. Your thoughts intrigue me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pelgris's avatar Pelgris June 6, 2016 / 8:15 am

      Intrigue you in what way? I guess I could just take the complement, but I really want to know

      Liked by 1 person

      • Pirate Patty Reviews's avatar piratepatty June 6, 2016 / 8:17 am

        This is odd. I am aware of that but sometimes I wonder if we have the same brain. Or a parent in common!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Pelgris's avatar Pelgris June 6, 2016 / 8:21 am

          Perhaps, I suppose I could ask my dad but if he answered in the affirmative I’m sure my mom would kill him.
          As to having the same brain, I can’t know. Maybe our brains are quantumly linked for some reason.

          Like

          • Pirate Patty Reviews's avatar piratepatty June 6, 2016 / 8:33 am

            Trust me, My mother didn’t even want to sleep with my father I’m quite sure, so that thought is out!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Pirate Patty Reviews's avatar piratepatty June 6, 2016 / 8:37 am

            Thanks. There is very little I’m uncomfortable with. Your words resonate with something inside. And whenever I see a Raven, I pay attention. They have always been important in my life.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Pelgris's avatar Pelgris June 6, 2016 / 8:46 am

              The raven is very important to me. It represents a bunch of different things. The picture is actually a tattoo on my arm. It’s the only one I have and is extremely important to me. It represents the Morrigan, which was a pet name for my Morgan. The broken pentagram represents the freeing of what it contains. It also represents Magic unchained by mortal will. I also just really like ravens.

              Like

            • Pelgris's avatar Pelgris June 6, 2016 / 10:41 am

              I like that my words resonate. If it were just my poetry, I’d say thank you, that is the purpose of all art, to invoke emotion or thoughts in others. But you seemingly resonate with the deeply personal posts as well and that makes me both happy and cautious. Because I don’t want to mess that up…

              Like

                • Pelgris's avatar Pelgris June 6, 2016 / 3:02 pm

                  I would say something more, because I would always say something more. I would say that our hearts vibrate at the same frequency which gives voice and in doing so calls out to each other.

                  Like

  2. Pelgris's avatar Pelgris June 6, 2016 / 6:39 pm

    I think it is something anyone in a healthy D/S relationship would come to know and in a way, crave. That I am the Dominant in most cases and still need the communication as much as I do, I think, can be confusing. Perhaps mixing signals.

    Like

Leave a reply to piratepatty Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.