The only bridge worth building is the one worth burning
I had a recent conversation about whether I needed BDSM in a relationship. The answer is no, but…
No I don’t need it but I enjoy it.
Further Bdsm is in the mind.
If I make you orgasm again and again, never stopping, never giving you a chance to catch your breath, that may be considered good vanilla sex. But if in my mind I was laying claim to you and I stated I won’t stop until you stop me. Then that is a show of Dominance. A fairly mild show but still.
Vanilla sex is just that, vanilla, every time, each time. That doesn’t mean no orgasm, generally, but it does mean that the actions are intellectually boring. I happen to enjoy watching someone lose themselves to pleasure, but that only goes so far. You only need the toys for particular things, for the most part it is a understanding, a mindset.
But that is all just physical and I prefer to only engage in Scene behind the bedroom door. I don’t do slaves or pets. So you may submit to me in the bedroom but outside of it I expect you to be your own person. Further, I want emotional commitment more than I need the physical. I’m rambling. BDSM is fun, and engages me fully but I don’t need it. But vanilla sex forever is not appealing either. Further,I can’t see how it would be enough for anyone. Maybe people are just used to sex that is unsatisfactory.
