Anxiety weaves about
Circles
Wheels
Revealing weakness
Weakness I’d rather you not deal with
You’ve seen it before
But this feels different
Or I’m jumping at shadows
Is it insight or fear
I don’t know which
All I know is everything stops spinning
When you say Sir
Others have said it
And it was nice
But they are playing
You say it differently
And that makes all the difference
I see the spark of you
The hidden piece shining brightly
Pulsing with energetic light
This piece of life
It casts itself over all that you are
How can I see this and not fall a bit in love?
Am I to hide my feelings because they emerge before you are ready to hear them?
Am I to cringe back and deny what I see because I cry out to the heavens and this makes you uncomfortable?
I love the you that you are, as you are.
Am I to hide that behind like and lust?
It’s too soon they say.
But they don’t see what I see.
You are right, it’s too soon to know the totality of you.
But too soon to see enough to love?
To embrace discovery and beauty?
Why live that way?
Hiding, hoping not to get hurt.
I’d be lying if I said that my love has not destroyed me, crippled me.
But through destruction, we grow.
Through pain we are forged.
And at the end of it all, better to break for love than it’s lack.
If I could change what I did in the relationship with you my goddess, I would only change this: I would have said something much sooner. I would have expressed my affection for you in late April. We may well have ended up in the same place as we are now. But we would have had a bit more than an extra month together. Maybe that is foolish. I can only imagine how much more pain I would be in after having more time with you and ending as it did, but the time I was with you, I felt like I was home. I can’t imagine being unwilling to pay the price for that little bit of extra time.
Pelgris 