Definitely needed more sleep

At 2 am I question my value as a person
There’s no poetry in that
Just a desperate attempt to understand
Not even trying to convince myself I’m not
Just wondering why, if I’m valued, I’m also discarded
Say that I’m better than this but really
If I am
Why is the result the same
I can’t even blame depression brain
Because I’m not depressed
Just
I don’t understand
If I’m so great
Deserve to be happy
Am worthy of love
Then why am I sitting alone in my bed at 2am
Wondering why
Maybe I’m not good at people
Maybe my hearts too weird to love
I don’t know
And not knowing is worse
If I knew and had done everything I could
That would be different
But I kinda don’t want to know
Cause maybe it’s just who I am