Month: December 2020

This pandemic life

Pelgris1 Comment

I missed a post yesterday. I acknowledge my failure and offer this response:

Isolation from those we love coupled with physical situation changes, eg working from home and closed gyms, has effected me deeply.

It’s hard to build relationships without physical presence. Not impossible. Just hard. But it’s the lack of exercise, good food, and regular companionship from friends which just sends me deeper inside.

I try to keep up emotionally. I’m doing the work. But some days it’s too much. Today(Monday) was one of those days. Mostly I’ve managed to post a song or a haiku to cover but I couldn’t find the motivation today. I ended up sleeping for 8 hours immediately after work and I’m still tired.

Usually, I love the cold bite in the air and the approaching solstice. Now I feel like it is more of the same. And the levers I would normally use to regulate my feelings are either not available or are physically distant.

It is a lot.

I miss the family of choosing which I’ve been lucky enough to be a part of.

As to the blog. I will be better. I’ll need to devote some spoons. It is important to me. And while it would be easy to quit, the damage from doing so would have repercussions. So I guess anyone who reads here stillbis stuck with me.

Linguistic navel gazing

PelgrisLeave a comment

Words have both literal and contextual meanings. To limit ourselves to the literal is to diminish our ability to perceive beyond mere surface and into the heart of the world.

Let us take up an example.

Mend: repair something that is broken or damaged
Fix: mend or repair

Those are the definitions of those words.

But what do we feel when we say we are fixing something? The implication is that its hard and we are using outside forces to make(force) something into a working mode.

It’s very much an outside in word. Fix implies that outside influence, outside actions are the only means of bringing something back to function.

Now lets look at mend.
Mend feels softer. It feels like I am inside the thing or a part of the thing. It is more like healing. A slow rebinding to allow something to be whole.

It does not insist on itself. It offers instead.

To put another way, if I surgically staple a wound closed I have fixed it. The wound is closed.

But its not, is it? Not until the wound is mended and the staples(the fix) are no longer needed.

So we could consider that a fix is a temporary solution for a permanent problem and only by mending the problem does the problem cease.

We have a tendency to fix things. To implement hasty(implying quick and slipshod) fixes and fail to mend the underlying wound.

Tackling things from a vocabulary point of view may seem foolish but it is through language that we see and interpret our world. It is a base and fundamental building block for society. And we need to examine and construct it with care.