I missed a post yesterday. I acknowledge my failure and offer this response:
Isolation from those we love coupled with physical situation changes, eg working from home and closed gyms, has effected me deeply.
It’s hard to build relationships without physical presence. Not impossible. Just hard. But it’s the lack of exercise, good food, and regular companionship from friends which just sends me deeper inside.
I try to keep up emotionally. I’m doing the work. But some days it’s too much. Today(Monday) was one of those days. Mostly I’ve managed to post a song or a haiku to cover but I couldn’t find the motivation today. I ended up sleeping for 8 hours immediately after work and I’m still tired.
Usually, I love the cold bite in the air and the approaching solstice. Now I feel like it is more of the same. And the levers I would normally use to regulate my feelings are either not available or are physically distant.
It is a lot.
I miss the family of choosing which I’ve been lucky enough to be a part of.
As to the blog. I will be better. I’ll need to devote some spoons. It is important to me. And while it would be easy to quit, the damage from doing so would have repercussions. So I guess anyone who reads here stillbis stuck with me.
I’m happy to be stuck with you, Pelgris. I am missing social connection very much. I love the interactions that result from this blog, but being on lockdown has taken its toll on my mental health. Working from home, working out at home, zooming… it is just not the life that helps me be my best self. But, like you… I keep trying. Sending you hugs, my friend ❤
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