Month: July 2020

Injecting sand, hoping for one more minute

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I play for time
Rolling dice against an uncaring clock
Anything to maintain distance from sleep which drags me unwilling out of bed as morning breaks
And fatigue settles into bones
Wander through routine
And listening to high energy music in a vain attempt to will myself into work

I play for time
Seconds drip by
Hopeful steps with one more second before tomorrow becomes inevitable
That foreknowledge
That foregone conclusion
It not even burnout
It’s just life
This wheel turning with no hope to get ahead
Head above water
Treading and hoping to make it to that future I once thought certain

Calm wistful mornings

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Drop sand distant to a tune made melody
Pounding counterpoint to soft gasps
Quiet bitten lip moans
Being quiet for too thin walls
Open to the endeavors of pain
Break wave and skin taught
Beads of sweat
Cold in the rooms still air
Eyes meet
Even in passions throws
Small towel and soft cover
Cutting out cold
Taking fierce care while being taken
Into ear the growl of
“Mine”
And thus I’m lost again

Blood greases the wheel

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There are companies which are the very definition of the drab Dutch businessmen portrayed in so many paintings. Bland, nearly tasteless. Faceless. The same type, again and again. Charismatic but not overly so. Smart but not intelligent. Academic rigor but not intellectual curiosity. Bland.

And those of us who find ourselves in trapped in such places…we slowly drown. Slowly fade until we have nothing left. And wake each day, filled with a low level dread. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the next twist of the knife you never quite see coming.

A corporate culture not quite toxic. But only just barely.