It occurs to me that I missed a post on Monday. For the first time in more than 3 years…
On the one hand, I can justify it by saying that yesterday was a crazy day and I stopped at the end and just passed out.
On the other, I have to decide if that is just a bullshit excuse. If being tired and busy excuses a failure of honor. Of a promise made.
And I have to say, it does not.
That may seem harsh. That lapses occur and that things sometimes fall apart.
The reality is that I thought several times yesterday of writing or posting something and I chose not to.
We make time for the things that matter to us.
Fundamentally, that is what this is.
While my writing matters, it is the interaction with others that I miss. And my page has become a ghost town of likes thrown out like flowers. And I sit by the passing parade, alone.
I’m more connected now than I have ever been and yet I feel so alone. I feel like I’m just getting my feet as those that I love are moving into new phases. And leaving me behind.
And I feel no jealousy for them…but I do feel this dull ache of everything changing and being lost in the background.
A fallen leaf, once part of the community, drifting down, away from succor into the dying light of autumn.