Pelgris

Feeling tired
Too tired to wake up
Back hurts from work out
Stomach empty and cramping
Back into a groove of hurting to be normal
This normal
My normal
Loving all my people
Fumbling to help
Sitting alone
Hoping to hear from people you’ve reached out to
Never really expecting an answer
But stopping myself from wandering down that razor blade road
Just wanting more sleep
Just wanting to get going
Get the day of work over with so that I can get on living
Hoping when I get home that someone will be waiting
Knowing they won’t be
Can’t be
Physically gone or physically distant
Doesn’t matter
Same result
Talking on messenger
Only connection from day to day
Broken lines of communication
Needing to hear from you
Knowing it won’t happen
This is my normal
Walking tall
Slight smile on lips
Meeting eyes
But not intruding
Going home alone
Wondering
Calm strength hiding the churn of yearning
But it’s normal
My normal
Ready to be broken again