Internal speculation/Bdsm thoughts

I find it interesting that there is a dichotomy of perception about me. Those who know me at a surface level get someone forceful, sardonic, and cynical. Go a bit deeper and they see wisdom and darkness. Deeper still and they see care. But that’s all they will ever see. All I’ll let them see.

Now, at the opposite spectrum, those who know me deeply get someone kind, loving, and romantic. Go a bit deeper and they see damage and darkness. Go deeper still and they might see hope and wisdom.

But there are a third category of people who get all of me. My true friends and those I consider mine. You get all of me. For good or for ill. I can be any part of my personality at need or all of it depending. But what really intrigues me is the person who can get me to switch from the normal day to day into her Sir.

Her need is like flicking a switch and whatever crap is in my head goes away so that I can take care of her needs. Orders. Ideas. Even just seeing herself through my eyes. All of it in service to her elevation. She obeys. And when she does, when she trusts me to make her better, I become better. Everyone wants to make D/s about sex. There is some of that. But it’s like saying that music is only major chords. It’s ridiculous and eventually, boring.

I know that the physical aspects are exciting in concept. Sometimes in execution. But I’ve never enacted a physical interaction with the intention that it just be physical. There is Always a point, a goal, a lesson. And physical punishment is not really the point. Negative reinforcement is less useful than positive. Pain is more about the expiation of guilt and negative emotions, paying a physical consequence for a mental action or lapse.

Punishment is not about the pain itself. It’s a tool. And like all tools it must be applied only in the circumstances that it is most useful in. And I will often use tasks as punishment rather than the physical. Or in tandem with a physical but only as reinforcement, not as the primary point. Which isn’t to say that there are no floggings, spankings, or other such activities, just that those are mostly for pleasure not as a part of 24/7 D/s.

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