Why follow me
Lead through the mists of my own dissolution, disillusion
Lost in the loves I can’t quite reach
The ones never quite enough
Like a pincushion of blades
Each support the other
Pull one to watch me fall apart
Watch me as I eat my feelings
All to keep me from buying that shotgun
And finally going through with silent plans
Follow me?
I can only lead you to dark places
Where cries and screaming, sobs
Break the too still silence
And that’s on a good day
When planning fails to give way to plotting
It’s not a solution, but it is, isn’t it
When you believe in a afterlife and you won’t be judged for walking away
It’s the peace of not being
But I have my fear to keep me here
My fear that I am seconds from finding her or him and I just need to stick it out
They say you have to love yourself first, well I like myself, love maybe but here’s the thing about they say
THEY don’t know shit
Time heals all wounds? Bullshit spouted by the delusional and the optimistic that have never been wounded deeply.
There’s someone for everyone? What if my someone is dead or speaks Mandarin and lives in rural China? Bullshit
It’s a cakewalk of platitudes when you’re looking for answers
Or maybe just a place to lay your head
And a hand to hold, lips to kiss
And words to say
Pelgris 