Thoughts on My Self

I say adios or farewell or, if leaving for a long time or permanently, I say Walk in beauty

I prefer flowery romantic language to plain words; Your eyes shine like the heavens rather than your eyes are pretty; I’m not setting you on a pedestal.

I believe that each word has a emotional and logical spin to it. Using the correct words in the correct sequence has a beauty all it’s own.

I’m in love with beauty;  which is not to say pretty things or some ideal but someone or something that can effect me emotionally;  anything that does i consider beautiful;

I fall in love quickly, because I see the flaws and strained lines in each person I choose to associate with and those are beautiful;

I care deeply and quickly.  I don’t expect those feelings to be returned;
I just hope that it does not push people away or scare them

I am 100% capable of letting those people exit my life; I won’t stop caring because they do. Unless they betrayed me, but that is a whole other thing.

I read genre fiction and various non-fiction, about a book a week on average; so called  literature leaves me cold;

My taste in music is wide and far reaching;  Instrumentation only pieces (classical, new age, metal, etc), Full Band, Singer/songwriter;  I prefer that you write your own lyrics if not music;  And if you have lyrics then I want to be able to understand them (as in hear them over the music) ;  if I can’t, your instrumentation better be unfuckingbelivable or I’m out;

If you can and do, give and receive, sober consent then have at it, may it bring you joy.

I prefer the truth if the answer is personal and interesting if the answer is not; Is it likely that gnomes are stealing my socks?  No, but its more interesting that noting that the missing sock is inside a pair of pants that I have not worn in awhile; So I’ll go with that; Espousing an interesting lie as fact is not the same as believing it to be fact though I do believe in some pretty bizarre things;  may be safer to just ask for clarification.

I prefer dark clothing. I don’t wear jewelry because I’m allergic to most metal, yes even hypoallergenic titanium; I have fashion sense but I don’t really use it on myself;

I see the physical body as a tool to be used,  not a thing to be worshiped;  though I have worshiped a persons desires  and pleasures through the medium of their body.  I find pleasure in their pleasure, within limits. Though admittedly my limits are probably not the norm for most societies. Though, I imagine, some societies would find my limits confining; I am not always successful in this regard.

I write this to try to understand who I am. I post it to make sure it’s honest. It is a reminder of who I am in my better moments. As this calm, cool me slides, inexorably, into depression.

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