I ponder sometimes the methods by which I’ve been rejected or rebuffed.
The straight forward “Not interested” is the best. There is no wiggle room, no space for hope in that. Just fact. I wish there was more of that.
The online dating reply of silence – it’s the passive form of the not interested. Just as good, but with some space for fantasy.
Edit:I’ve decided that no this option is hell. Just say not interested people.
The “it’s not you, it’s me”, these are the “nice” let downs. These are killers. You walk away feeling like it is indeed you and if you are weak you try to change, but inevitably, just make it worse. Whatever IT is.
The “I’m not in the right headspace for dating”. Just no, this leaves the poor bastard swimming after you on the hook. Unless that was your intention, in which case you earn an askance look and a “that’s fucked up”.
The “I just want to be friends”. If true then it is a valid stance. But only from your side. The person asking you has already stepped beyond that, in my experience, and can’t really go back to that frame of mind. They will always want that something more. The only cure is if they find someone else on their own. On their own emphasized, if you hook them up then if it falls apart they will be right back with you. After all you cared. In this it is like feeding a stray cat, they will come back.
The insult. “you’re too fat, ugly, tall, skinny, gloomy, serious, funny” For me this is as good if not better than the straight not interested. You jump directly into fuck them mode, which makes it so much easier for me to walk away. I know it can backfire though if the person is not strong enough. To the weak willed or inexperienced this is taken as a suggestion to change and tragedy ensues.
This has been another installment of passing thought becomes post. Thanks for reading.