Stream of consciousness

I’ve always felt out of place
Like I didn’t fit
Pieces of me stick out at odd places and as a consequence I don’t fit in the world. 
I’ve made a lifetime of not fitting
I stand alone,  apart. 
Conversations held,  I don’t take to my logical conclusions because experience has taught me that others find those conclusions odd.  And some can tell I’m holding back.  Which most take as rejection.  Which is hard since it is those with that intuitive sense that I can have a real conversation with.

My one major relationship… with a woman with whom I shared obsession with.  It was what we could give each other but it was not love.  A long time coming, that realization.
  And so it is with every moment,  turned about and about until intuition and logic tell my conscious mind each peice,  until it is ready to become a part of my tapestry of experience.
I jut out at odd angles,  looking for a place I fit, despairing that it won’t be found, and fearing that it will.

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