vanilla

Who are these people?

Pelgris4 Comments

Every story I hear about how awful or boring or lackluster a sexual encounter is, I’m floored. I just can’t seem to grasp how someone could want to be less than good. How someone can be so focused on their own gratification that they don’t see to the desires of their partner. Even if it’s a one time deal.

Now, admittedly, I’m not great at vanilla aspects of love making. In a vanilla situation, what do I do with my hands? It causes me anxiety not knowing. Non vanilla and I’ll be pinching and squeezing. Hand at your throat, controlling your breathing. But vanilla? I’m lost.

Explicitly, you should always have other sensations occurring other than just my dick inside you. In vanilla that’s what? Hands running across your body? In my head, hands exploring is a sensual prelude not a main course.

With kink, there is a wide range of possibilities from light bondage, to discipline, to spanking, to pinwheels, to a wide range of toys, and on and on.

Vanilla just narrows the scope. There are likely people that excel at this narrow scope. Who provide an excellent experience. It’s not me. I’m not practiced at it. So, while I’ll be enthusiastic and attentive, I wouldn’t consider myself good.

But, I would do everything in my power to make sure you, my partner, have a good time. Just because I don’t consider myself good doesn’t mean that you will. You will probably see that some aspects weren’t great. But after two or three orgasms that leave you boneless, I hope you will at least remember me fondly.

The wheel turns

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So I have a new Submissive. It’s online only at this point. She is an amazing person and new to being a sub. I’m pleased I get to be the one to play with and teach her. Ideally we would do this in person. But needs must. It’s the reason I Have been happy and as a corollary unable to write poetry. I’m working on that and need to be able to by April. Poetry month otherwise know as the Bataan death march of poetry.  A poem a day, plus normal posts.  It was hard as hell last year, lets see how it is this year. I may up it to 2 poems a day since I have been writing so prolifically.  But my sub is amazing. I tried being vanilla for awhile.  I was miserable. She is game for anything and I appreciate that. She is a beautiful creature and I’ll smack the shit out of anyone that says otherwise. My miss, you are mine. And that makes me happy.

Timbers smoldering

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The only bridge worth building is the one worth burning

I had a recent conversation about whether I needed BDSM in a relationship. The answer is no, but…
No I don’t need it but I enjoy it.
Further Bdsm is in the mind.
If I make you orgasm again and again, never stopping, never giving you a chance to catch your breath, that may be considered good vanilla sex. But if in my mind I was laying claim to you and I stated I won’t stop until you stop me. Then that is a show of Dominance. A fairly mild show but still.
Vanilla sex is just that, vanilla, every time, each time. That doesn’t mean no orgasm, generally, but it does mean that the actions are intellectually boring. I happen to enjoy watching someone lose themselves to pleasure, but that only goes so far. You only need the toys for particular things, for the most part it is a understanding, a mindset.
But that is all just physical and I prefer to only engage in Scene behind the bedroom door. I don’t do slaves or pets. So you may submit to me in the bedroom but outside of it I expect you to be your own person. Further, I want emotional commitment more than I need the physical. I’m rambling. BDSM is fun, and engages me fully but I don’t need it. But vanilla sex forever is not appealing either. Further,I can’t see how it would be enough for anyone. Maybe people are just used to sex that is unsatisfactory.