Enduring silence

Want to be warm and asleep next to you
I need you to desire me
Me, not my body, me
I want you to know that when I touch you it’s to affirm to myself that you are real
And when my hands and mouth
Arch your back in ecstasy
It’s because I need your joy to be happy

I live inside my head sometimes so deep that I don’t know how to inhabit my body and it makes me hesitant. Would you welcome a hand trailing up your spine? I don’t know. People want relationships to be easy and I am never easy.

Just want to turn to you and hold you close
Be unselfconscious and lose ourselves in each other
Want to satisfy your every carnal desire
And still boop your nose and call you my girl and see you blush

And instead, I’m alone in my bed
Room chilly
Snuggled under a blanket
Wanting sleeping oblivion
For want of the taste of you