Times passage through the lens of memory

Every step that brought me here
How can I regret them
How can I say that they are not what was needed
Pain and sorrow and stupidity and anger and rage
Pure gluttony and excess
And still
This is where I am
A few steps away
A future I want
But what mayhem will life require
To achieve it
And what price is unpayable
And what choice must not be made
I don’t know
But they must be made
And they will be picked over
And lamented
And rejoiced
And regretted
Forever made
And lived with