I think I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just used to the chaos that my life seems to devolve into.
That or I’m numb or insulated.

My highs are so full of promise and hope.
My lows so full of pain and despair.
But I ride the waves
Sometimes drowning, yes
When I have invested myself in a future that isn’t going to happen
Sometimes delirious with joy
When I have invested myself in a future that isn’t going to happen
But mostly, they are just days passing
Believe me
I want that more of the horizon
Reaching out has burned me though
So I wait
Thinking in my cave
Watching the sky in hope of rain