I think that there may be an impression, for those who have read my writing for a while, that I am a fighter. That I would react to an in your face fight and come out on top. This is not the case.
Oh, I’ll fight back if hit. And I’ll fight in the moment if it’s neccesary. But, it’s with full knowledge that I will likely lose. I’ve been in my share of fights when I was younger. Fights that I continually lost. I would change tactics. I would make plans. But I would lose. I have a broken nose that never set right. Leading to a slightly crooked face, a little canted to the left. But I snore lightly if at all, so jokes on them, they probably corrected something for me.
As I grew up, I would still fight because I had a temper. Still do, but now it’s muffled behind layers of self control and fail safes. I would just pick my battles and the grounds of those battles better. Always with an eye towards victory.
I’ve learned that fighting is sometimes neccesary. But that losing rarely is. As long as you choose the battle. Nowadays, in the moment, well…I’ll still get my ass beat. I have no illusions in that regard. But, afterwards….afterwards is another story. I don’t forget. And forgiveness is something I apply only to those who deserve it.