Fuck, I talk too much

There is a feeling of falling apart without you. But I’ll never say that. I won’t hold you emotionally hostage. I refuse to be another person that inflicts their pain on you.

This feeling of dissolution without you, of dying without you will never be spoken from my lips to reach your ears. I’m a monster. But not that kind.

And here’s the thing, it’s like I can feel people I’m with flinching from something I’m not saying. I am open about what I’m feeling, because how are you to know if I say nothing. But I never will take it to that place where you might feel responsible for my actions. I don’t want that.

I just want to be heard and understood. And I don’t see how that is possible without honesty about everything.

9 thoughts on “Fuck, I talk too much

  1. thesarahdoughty July 14, 2017 / 10:22 am

    I understand. Hey, a bit of good news, I heard they’re bringing Sense8 back for a 2 hour finale. It’s better than nothing. Maybe that will cheer you up. 🌿

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pelgris July 14, 2017 / 10:24 am

      Eh, I’m fine. Just thinking about stuff. But yeah, that’s good news and it just won a best cinematography award too. Netflix may have put it on the chopping block too soon.

      Like

      • thesarahdoughty July 14, 2017 / 12:53 pm

        Yeah, i didn’t watch it until season 2 was released. It’s hard to describe what the show is in a trailer. And it ended up being one of my absolute favorite shows. It’s too bad they cancelled it, but they’re at least giving closure.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Pelgris July 14, 2017 / 12:55 pm

          I watched the first episode and I was hooked.

          Like

          • thesarahdoughty July 14, 2017 / 3:04 pm

            Yep, I pretty much was too. It took me awhile to fully understand the capability of the cluster, but I found the characters where what kept me watching. That moment when they started working together really solidified my admiration.

            Liked by 1 person

        • Pelgris July 14, 2017 / 12:59 pm

          It’s a really good example of love. Love as a truth.

          Like

          • thesarahdoughty July 14, 2017 / 3:05 pm

            Yes, I found that I learned much more about what people dealt with in terms of religion, culture, and love in general. I was never against any of it, I just didn’t fully grasp it all.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Pelgris July 14, 2017 / 3:11 pm

              I didn’t think you were. ☺️

              Like

              • thesarahdoughty July 14, 2017 / 3:13 pm

                I know, it’s just hard to fully understand unless you live it. And this gave me a perspective that gave me that insight.

                Liked by 1 person

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