Am I seeing things where nothing exists? Am I reading things that aren’t there? Am I being a fool again? Seeing words that are general and seeing them as directed. I must be mistaken. Not that I want to be but I don’t dare believe it to be true. It must be delusion, mustn’t it? I wish I could stand in front of you and just ask. But that never ends well.
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Pelgris 
When you ask questions you usually get answers. Maybe not the ones you want, but…still there is a sense of relief from the pain of uncertainty.
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True. I think I am just weighing the benefits of knowing vs the consequences of asking. If I could know without the fallout then I would ask. But the potential loss of what is does not yet outweigh the potential of what may be. If that makes sense.
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Yes, I do understand. It’s like playing blackjack. You have to know when to stay with the hand you are dealt and not push it and lose everything.
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Pretty much. I’ve already pushed twice this year. One ended in a perfectly understandable way, the other I still don’t fully understand what happened. I’m still licking my wounds. I’m not sure if I can handle any new ones, especially right now.
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Be good to yourself, Pelgris and give your heart and mind a rest.
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