There is a marked difference in rough trade. In tie me up tie you down and Dominance and Submission. The former are tools in the toolbox of D&S but they are not the point. I think that people get focused on the physical aspects and this is all they see.
Myself, I like receiving pain. I enjoy it. But at no point am I submissive. I don’t follow orders well. I have Submitted on occasion, generally to become a better Dominant. Seeing things from that perspective is a valuable asset. But my submission was for the scene alone. I wasn’t living as a submissive.
And I don’t crave being submissive to someone; it is not a need for me. But I’m coming to realize that neither is being Dominant. I don’t need it. I enjoy it, but it is not a need. I like being a Dominant to a submissive because they enjoy it. It is a feedback loop for me.
I like rough trade and like being slapped, like nails that draw blood, like pain. But I feel only a need to pleasure my partner. I don’t know what that means. But I like the acceptance of fringe society as well. It’s why I like BDSM, why I like Goth. Why I like artists and poets, writers and musicians. All live on, live in society but are in ways not of society and that makes them more accepting.
I have long Identified as a BDSM Top. But I wonder how much of that is a result of my relationship with Sara and with Eric. Other than them leaving, by very different routes, I would not change what we had. And I would still be more thoroughly ensconced in that life if they were still a part of mine. But I wonder now, if I am still that. Or like a chameleon, do I simply shift to the desires of those around me, taking the pleasures where I can from what they desire. I honestly don’t know.
Pelgris 