Dating vanilla is harder than I thought it would be. Different, not bad. It is akin to Dancing to music you half remember with steps you were never good at.
When you start a relationship as a Top/Master, you sit down and talk about what is and is not allowable, what both want, what both need. there is little ambiguity. Which is not to say there are not surprises. Delightful surprises.
But the framework is there to talk about it. If you want an emotional escalation or something else you can talk about it. Of course, that is the ideal. The reality is often not as clear. But there is a feeling that it is possible, needful even.
In a vanilla relationship I am adrift. I’d normally have cut ties, it being so confusing, but I feel a genuine connection. And I’ve learned to trust my Intuition, having ignored it to my peril.
Pelgris 