I’m a man of many parts. Most people are. But introspection can let you walk the paths of those parts. Most people don’t want to make the sacrifices walking those paths require. I never saw it as much of sacrifice. To know and be known, if only a little and only to yourself is a worthy goal I think.
If pressed, I will say that this life, I am trying for equilibrium. If pressed further, I will say that I have lived many lifetimes and many lives. Though in this lifetime I have had three lives.
My first life, I was a fool. I made some poor decisions. Decisions that effected friends and family. Those choices accumulated until I collapsed under their weight. I died and was reborn.
My second life was normal. Then I found my Morrigan. She introduced me to a world of pleasure and pain. To a place of transition, living hard and high on the borders. Still I kept secrets, though I learned that few want to ask the questions that lead to real answers. Because I was not ready, not accepting of her needs she began to drift away. We weren’t broken up and, in many ways still wanted each other, but at the hands of another who didn’t know her limits (or she didn’t inform them) she slipped away from this world. It doesn’t happen often and is always tragic. I shut down. Couldn’t deal, emotions became so painful that I shut them all away. Hidden in a maze deep in my subconscious. I died and was reborn.
Now is my third life, I attempt balance. Accept everyone who means no harm. Try to dance in transition and on solid ground. Accept love as it comes, in whatever form it takes. I imagine I’ll die again. Though I hope I will be in this state for the final death of this lifetime. But you never know.