I would in my heart fain love though in truth I know only emptiness, to have had love then lost is more bitter than to merely yearn for what one has never known.
And to drink this bitter draught while the brothers of my choice find what I have lost and sought leaves my heart more desolate.
For I should be joyful in their joy but often it is such that I summon a mask for the self and select a different face to the world.
Would that the way were more clear or perhaps merely my perception of it.