I just had the realization that there are two more people in this world that I love. That I would do nearly anything for. This comes as a cascade really. One which reveals what I conceived as a bare handful turns into many more. Which isn’t to say that I am loved. In all likelihood, I’m not. I seem too distant, too different to fall into that category. Outside of immediate family and even then that’s questionable in cases.

I don’t even talk with most of them all that often. But I would remake the world if they needed it. It’s not the highest love I can feel but I’m not romantically involved with any of them.

For someone who has felt so alone for so long it is interesting.

Now if I could convince the few in whose presence I feel like I’m home, then I would be ecstatic. But I think too much cultural baggage stands in the way of even the attempt.