Subconscious fades

Hold this sunset in your heart, you’ll need it when the darkness closes in
This night too, its calmness, its moon
When beauty is fleeting and all else is bleak

Hold these pieces of my gift to you

Watch the storm shake the sky and the rumble growls
Know strength and I’m beside you
In terror and hope, in love and despair
See truth in the world,
this is my prayer

As pendulum swings and time presses on I’ll not always be here for you, everything ends even gods, even faith

So I ask that you see, that you hear, that you know
Bind these shattered stars, these jagged memories, bind them and see the boundless unfurl
’till all comes round again

Musically inclined

Shadows bending down
Nights flame dwindling in cold mathematical melody
Adrift in cacophony’s sea
Reverb in verse
Rhythms rime burst asunder

Sacrilegious silence
Bask me in your notes
Fill my anticipation
Coupled couplets
Dance your memory

Wings

Slipping away through corridors slick
with exhaled breathe
Borne minute by minute in shadow
burning
Silence pounding staccato rhythm
through broken ribs
Heart tearing free from confined moorings
Freedoms wings, light as sin, take me home

Have you thought

Have you thought
In passing moment and stinging thought or dismissal and moving on. Just the moment by moment terror of too much available communication, the ability to drop a line to anyone I used to be with, anyone. The growing need to communicate, to speak, to talk, but I know I’ll get no response. This is bad, it feels bad, but when I try and all I hear is echos, that is so much worse. So I refrain, because there is only so much pain I can take and not talking to you is bad enough. But talking to you and never hearing a response is so much worse.

The fear that keeps

think…and I’m falling loop by loop
contrails in a clear blue sky
spiraling down

it’s not the ground I’m afraid of, its the fall
the ground I’d almost welcome, the sudden stop then nothing
but I still hope for a place to stand

I sound suicidal, I know. And I’d be lying if I said there were days when I wonder, what it would be like to just leap, make the decision and stop. I wish I could say “but hope pulls me back”. But it’s not hope. It’s fear. Fear of the pain, fear that I’ll miss or that I’ll be crippled, but most of all that I’ll set the pieces in motion and after it’s too late to stop, when it’s all but a fait accompli, I will find someone, we’ll find each other, and it’ll all just click. That’s the fear that keeps me going. I wish I could say it’s my love of beauty or strength of character but in truth, it’s fear. And I wonder, how many of us are feeling that same fear, how many of us are falling through our lives, looking for a place to stand.

Winter turns to spring

Stirred from inaction, a heartbeat sounds across ashes, and turnings bought shadow burns lower

Times slow in passing, drifting as hearts leaping, and echos through the dying trees

Winter is the building and sounds of ice breaking, though silence in the drifting, and turnabout favors fair

All desires meeting, conscience and the slip of the tongue

But shadows still are burning, times resumes it’s pacing, and winter’s promises brings Springs regret.

Sinking ice

I invite the cold in
The chill soothes me
Numbs me
Makes me hungry
Makes me want sleep
Warmth is a memory
Close my eyes
Just for a minute
What’s the harm
The shivers have long past

I’m so tired
Let me sleep here
Without you

I let the cold seep in

Heat

The heat soaks in, pain riding the edge of pleasure, all thought fades only sensation as it sinks deep to bone

From the depths rises a dull ache, a desire birthed in remembrance
The visceral touch, the need

The body floats, burns
Need
A surface tension

The ephemeral touch of slivered light

Ghost, and your gone
The casual cruelty of cowardice
The delusion
It’s not over

Oblivion

Oblivion is what I want to feel
Soft warmth and darkness
Just enough sounds that the blood rushing fades to background

Oblivion is what I can reach
Striving for more seems foolish
Fruitless

Escape into dream

A world of tattered synapse
Made bold verse and spoken rhyme
Where words are valued and the loyalty of my heart is enough

Oh, oblivion

Gentrification

I’m driving to drink
To walk around a town on the brink
Is it all just pretension, culture swirling the sink
Sitting in a loft downtown
Paid for by daddy’s money and stepmommy’s wink

I’m an artist I declare
I find my muse in the bottle of locally sourced heritage rum
My friends all say I’m groundbreaking
It’s breathtaking
This painting
It’s really about the brushstrokes that I didn’t use

The parties are thrown for desperations sake
One last wake
One last fling

I guess I’ll go to law school